So Much for Forever
by SparksIntoFlames
Summary: Sora commited suicide leaving a broken Roxas. After Roxas turns to drugs and self injury for some form of comfort he seems to far to save. Maybe Axel can help.
1. You Lied to Me

**A/n: yeah I really wanted to write this after I watched a video on You Tube; it was to Lacrymosa by Evanescence- akuroku. Very cute and sad. SO! This is a result of my 5 minute depression ^^;**

He was gone. The only thing that ever meant anything to Roxas was gone. "You lied to me, Sora." was the only thing the blond could say. He whispered to himself over and over again. "You lied to me… You said we would be together forever…" He sighed and watched as the moon caught a shine on the razor in his hand. "We were all each other had. Why did you leave me alone?" The red seeped through his skin and overflowed, dripping slowly to the ground. "You lied to me…" Another cut, what did that make? Thirteen now? Three more to go, the years they spent through hell together. Fourteen. Now only two; Roxas let the tears fall freely, no one was there to watch him at his worst; no one ever was, only Sora; and now he was gone. So why hide? Fifteen. He sobbed and screamed. This pain was too much, and how would he deal with school tomorrow? Did anyone even know that the twins existed? I guess now they weren't the depressed twins anymore, now it was just Roxas, no Sora to cry with anymore. Shit, too deep. Roxas reached for the rag he kept close and pressed it to his newest slit as the blood immediately soaked through to his fingers. Sixteen. Sixteen cuts decorated his wrist. But why stop there? Oh yeah, Sora would have hit him on the first one, and probably made him bathe in lemon juice and salt for this many, much less more. 'Leave it at sixteen', he thought to himself. Then spoke out loud again, "You lied to me, Sora." he had another sleepless night drowned in tears and this time blood as well.

It had been years since he cut himself. He promised Sora he would quit when the brunette first found out. But it just goes to show that not all promises can be kept, especially the ones that keep you sane

.

This time something else slipped from the boy's lips, "I miss you brother." Sora and Roxas had always been close, hell they were all each other had. Their mother had died at such a young age from overdose in crank and they were constantly transferred from foster home to foster home. No woman would take in meth babies for fear of trouble. Unfortunately Roxas fell into this trouble, he had first found weed in 5th grade and of course things quickly progressed. He had been trying to quit his horrible addiction for some time now; but now it all just seemed pointless.

Roxas pulled out a small box he kept under the bed in his apartment; in it were his long awaited pipe and some glistening white powder. Oh, how he missed this, it been a month too long since the blond got high and now he needed it more than ever. He could only let out a strangled pathetic laugh when he remembered Soar's face, and as he packed the powder. How much the boy hated drugs and refused even a cigarette, straight edge as it gets; leaving Roxas with the terrible, addictive, craving genes. Wonderful... "I'm sorry Sora." he mumbled as he light up the pure as snow powder. He took a deep inhale and the room started to spin. 'I've missed this.' he thought to himself as he light up again. 'Such a lightweight...need more.' he pored some more powder in his pipe and took another long drag releasing the smoke into the air.

"Need a drink." he said to no one as he stumbled to the kitchen pipe still in hand.

"Water," he reached around in the fridge for a bottle of water but grabbed a Pepsi instead, "works." he mumbled and took a sip feeling the burn rush down his throat killing the very nerves within it.

Then he snapped... Roxas fell to the floor in tears dropping the can and his pipe. "Sora!" he screamed and clutched his head as the tears ran like water fall.

"Fuck it all Sora why did you leave? Why the hell did you leave me alone you ass?" he crashed. His high was already gone and the headache was creeping up fast. "Sora..." he mumbled suddenly calm again." come back..." all the thrashing reopened his wounds and the blood began to mix with the powder and soda. A piece of him died that night, not just his twin brother, but a piece if his sanity; and whatever was left was quickly slipping away already. How was he going to survive without his twin? No drug could replace the pain he felt or the comfort that Sora brought. "I guess this is good bye" he fell asleep in the puddle of blood crank and tears. After all there is just no such thing as longer then forever. So much for forever.


	2. Demyx?

**Woot! posted the next chapter on the same night as the first, cool yo. **

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><p>Roxas awoke the next morning in his puddle of pain and regrets. Slowly looking around the room he stumbled to his feet and trudged into the bathroom. He clutched his stomach and toppled over the toilet releasing whatever was in his stomach. "Sora, can you get me a rag?" he shouted to the empty apartment. Oh yeah, Sora was gone… as of about sixteen hours ago. Sixteen…his wrist. He looked down at his arm, the dark red of dried blood covering it. He stood up and sighed wandering to the sink to clean up before school. His eyes were so blood shot it was just stupid. Roxas huffed at his reflection and dragged his feet out of the bathroom, out the front door and down to his car. Truth is told he was still slightly buzzed, he really shouldn't be driving. "Guess it's the bus again."<p>

The bus ride was anything but peaceful. The gibbering children and the look he got from the driver were just hurtful. He made his way for the back of the bus and sat quietly, little did he know that there was a certain red headed senior who wasn't happy about the blond in the slightest. Axel turned to the front and sent a glare that could burn through steel at the seat in front of him. "Axel?" his dirt blond haired friend named Demyx hesitantly poked axels' shoulder. "Axel, you can't be mad at the kid, he just lost his brother." "Yeah? And what's my life? A ray of fuckin' sunshine? Just look at him! His glazed red eyes give it away. One thing goes wrong and he turns to getting high? That's bullshit! I've never stooped so low in my life!" Then the blue haired man next to axel wrapped an arm around his waist. "Calm down baby..." he whispered to Axel."Thanks Saix." axel mumbles and cuddled into his boyfriends shoulder. "Ewww! Get a room!" Xigbar laughed and earned a weak slap from Demyx. "Be nice Xiggy!" The four best friends laughed and caught the attention of the blond in the back.

'I wish I had friends like that...' Roxas thought to himself as he sighed again and tried to focus on the peeling black paint in his nails instead of the fact he felt like he was spinning. He hated school, he and Sora used to just sit in the back of every class room and play games. He tugged at the sleeves in his jacket as he exited the bus; head down and hands shoved in his pocket. He had about ten minutes till school started then another ten till actual class. Time for a smoke; he wandered off campus for a quick cigarette and another four cuts this time on his ankle. "Twenty..." twenty cuts scarring his body further then it already was. Just then the bell rang, "shit!" he shouted and ran for homeroom.

Axel was relaxing in his seat singing to his favorite band. "It's not fair when you say that I didn't try, I just don't wanna hear it anymore~ I swear I never meant to let it die I just don't-" he stopped short when Roxas walked through the door. Axel huffed and turned his music up trying his hardest to ignore the pathetic blond brat.

However, being late, seat choices were very limited and the only one available was next to Axel. "Crap..." the red head mumbled to himself. Roxas kept his gaze to his feet as he moved to sit next to the punk. He pulled out his notebook after sitting quietly and began to scribble little poems; this sparked Axel's curiosity. He leaned over slightly trying to get a glimpse of what Roxas was writing but he could only see the title and a line.

_Red Sky_

_Painted across like a mother's love_

What the hell did that mean? Roxas noticed this and tried not to choke when mumbling to the red head, "it's not polite to read over someone's shoulder." Axel simply glared at him. "So what's the deal kid? What, mommy and daddy had another fight? Poor Sora couldn't take it and left you alone to deal with your horrible parents? Is that why you're so pissy and getting high? To get attention? God you truly are pathetic." "Shut up!" Roxas screamed and threw his book down. "Don't act like you know anything about me! You know nothing!" Roxas grabbed his things and made a quick break for the bathroom, tears staining his vision. He kicked open a stall and threw his book bag down along with his body as he broke into hysterics. What right did Axel have to judge him? None!

He cried till he heard footsteps on the other side of the stall and immediately hushed. "Roxas?" the voice called out. Who knew his name? Hesitantly Roxas opened the stall and looked up a boy much taller with darker hair but the same blue eyes as his. The kid looked down at Roxas and smiled, "Hi! I'm Demyx!" he cheerfully smiled and held his hand out for Roxas who took it slowly and was helped to his feet. "Hey, don't mind Axe, okay? He's had a lot going on lately and isn't in the best of moods. Just give him time he'll come around to you!" Roxas shook his head, "I'm not really sure I want him to." Demyx's smile only got bigger. "Hey do you wanna sit with me at lunch, Roxas?" he asked handing Roxas his book bag and journal. "Uh, sure." Roxas slowly nodded and clutched his journal close. "Awesome! I'll see you then!" Demyx cheered and skipped off. Roxas stood there for a moment completely dazed. 'What just happened?' he thought as he held his journal close and walked out of the bathroom with a little bit of confidence. It wasn't much, but hey it would help him survive a few hours till he had lunch with some guy he had never met before. Or rather, someone other then Sora. "I miss you, Sora." He mumbled sadly.


	3. Saix

So Much for Forever

Chapter- 3

**A/n: Wow I'm surprised at all the alerts and favorites I got on this story. Thanks guys! Now you just need to review with some ideas cuz I'm kinda drawing a blank here. And don't forget more reviews = faster update.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.**

**WARNING! There is a Saix/Roxas rape scene in here, read it now kill me later. Or else just skip it…**

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><p>Tick… Tick… Tick… Tick… Ten minutes. Tick… Tick… Damn it, hurry up! Tick… Tick… Tick… Roxas sighed and turned his gaze from the clock back to his journal. Time was passing much too slowly for his liking. Tick… Tick… He wanted to spend as little as physically possible in school and in eight minutes he would be free. No more faking, no more smiling like everything's fine; he could go home and drop his 'pathetic act' as Axel had put it ever so nicely. Tick… Tick… Two minutes. Lunch earlier was horrible; he thought it was going to only be him and Demyx. Oh no, it was everyone. Saix kept trying to kill him with his glares, Axel was being a jerk the whole time and Demyx was too busy "talking" (flirting is more like it) with Xigbar to even notice him. So Roxas ended up leaving early and sulking in the bathroom, while he continued his song. Tick… Tick… Ring! Finally! Roxas gathered his things quickly and rushed out the door, out of the school, and ran home. When he finally reached his empty apartment he slammed the door shut and fell to the floor and cried. "Sora I miss you…" he mumbled to himself as he laid there on the floor, hopeless, alone, and broken.<p>

[.: **scene change! **:. ^0^ **insert magical noises**]

"Damn it all Axel what's wrong with you?" Demyx screamed at his fiery friend. "The kid just lost his bother and all you did during lunch was sit there and insult him!"

"Fuck you!" Axel shouted back, "Why did you even invite him? I never got any sympathy! I never got a break! Why the hell should he?" Demyx was furious; that was rare for the normally bubbly blond.

"I can't believe you Axel! You don't care about anyone but yourself! Just 'cause you had a horrible childhood doesn't mean you take it out on others!" Now Saix was getting pissed, how dare Demyx bring up such a touchy subject! But he simply sat there with Xigbar listening to the two argue. Honestly he didn't like Roxas either. All he and Sora ever did was go moping around like a couple of depressed idiots. They were practically begging for some sympathy; sympathy that no one would give them. Saix just figured why start now? Nothing has changed and it won't until they both finally go away and Axel can stop obsessing over the boy, and start obsessing over him. 'I swear he talks more about that damn brat then he even looks at me…' Saix thought to himself.

"Fuck off, Demyx!" Axel screamed at the blond, "You have no room to talk about being nice to strangers! You nearly killed Saix when you first met him!"

"That's not the point Axel! I'm sick of you putting your 'friends' down!"

"Then why are you still here?" he didn't yell, he didn't even show a sign of anger. His question was simple, monotonous, and deep. Demyx started to tear up a bit as he turned around. "Fine, Axel. After everything we've been through together you're choosing a filthy mutt over me. Have a nice life." And he was gone. Demyx had left Axels' building and was probably not coming back any time soon. Saix in the meantime was plotting. It was time to get rid of the annoying little emo kid once and for all.

"Oh, Axel, I need to leave. I will see you tomorrow." Saix leaned down and kissed Axel roughly before striding out the door.

[.: **scene change! **:. ^0^ **insert magical noises and arm gesture**]

Roxas walked into school that day only to run into a very tall blue haired man.

"Hello Roxas," said Saix. "Would you come with me for a moment? I heard you're quite the genius and I need some help with Trigonometry." Roxas was completely confused for a moment. "Uh, sure." Saix took his hand and lead him down to a rather abandoned hall in the school. "Now then Roxas," he said as he quickly grabbed Roxas' wrist and shoved him against the wall. "I'm going to only say this once, stay away, from axel." With that he crushed his lips against Roxas holding his wrist above his head with one hand and using the other to grope him. "Now to get your stupid horniness out of the equation… you should thank me for this brat." Roxas' eyes started to tear up as Saix dropped his own pants and stroked his cock to life. "This won't hurt too bad, whore." Saix then took a fist full of that blond hair and pushed him down onto his knees. "Suck." Was the only thing Saix said. Roxas stared at the large male organ in front of him and the tears came faster, "No!" he started to scream but was cut off by the soft, fleshy, shaft being shoved all the way inside his mouth. He let out another muffled cry and fought the urge to throw up as Saix bucked inside of his mouth, grunting and moaning quietly in arousing pleasure. Roxas lips were starting to chap and his tears were pouring down his face when he suddenly felt a sickening warm liquid slide slowly down his throat; Saix might have released but he was far from being done with his emo slut. The blue haired mutt yanked Roxas up by his hair and kissed him painfully hard as he ripped off his pants as well. Next thing the little boy knew he was bent over and pushed against the lockers.

"Oh, God! Please don't- AH!" he screamed as Saix shoved himself inside of Roxas. Blood started to drip down Roxas' legs as he was pounded into the lockers. 'Please let this be over soon' he thought. Saix, however, was enjoying the tightness that the poor boy provided. He didn't care if Roxas was enjoying it or not, he only cared about getting his point through. Don't mess with him. Only a few scream filled minutes later did Saix release a second time inside of Roxas. He then pulled out and dropped Roxas, zipped himself up then bent down for a tender kiss. "Leave me and axel alone. Understood whore?" he asked Roxas who only nodded. Saix smirked and punched Roxas hard in the gut before striding off to his class. Leaving a crumpled, abused, and completely violated Roxas on the floor. He couldn't stop crying or the whimpers that were escaping his mouth. He wearily stood up trying to ignore the immense pain he was in, and ran home. Fuck school, fuck life, this was too much!

Roxas slammed the apartment door and went straight for the bathroom blasting the water on hot and grabbing his razor. He laid the razor on the counter for afterwards and stepped into the shower. But the scalding formula wasn't enough, he felt so violated, so unclean, so slutty. He didn't enjoy it by any means and he still felt the juices rolling down his throat and legs. "Damn it!" he cried into his hand. "Why me?"

Suddenly the door bell rang. But he never had guests? Roxas quickly stepped out of the shower and threw a jacket and sweats on making sure none of his skin was showing before answering the door. But when he opened the door his b breath hitched and his knees buckled. _Why is he here? _Roxas tugged on his sleeves and looked up at the tall character in this door way.

"May I come in?"

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><p><strong>MUHAHAHAHA! CLIFFY! now you have to suffer, just like poor roxas. I promise things will be getting better! Roxas isn't going to be emo the whole time and things are going to get better I swear. However! In order for that to happen Roxas need's reviews, and so do I. Reviews = Update. And next chapter Axel and Roxas will actually have a "civil" conversation. Thanks sooo much to all!<strong>

**- 3 Sparky**


	4. Lines, Pain, and Love?

**A/n: Awe I feel loved, thanks for the reviews guys. So as promised here is your next chapter! Also I'm soooo sorry about the long wait though! I sprained my ankle so I haven't moved much and that includes getting up to get my computer. Sad day… Anyway! I'm better now and here is yo chap!**

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><p>At the door, standing tall and proud was a certain red head that Roxas was sure hated him.<p>

"Axel?" Roxas was absolutely baffled. Axel wasn't insulting him, didn't have his rapist boyfriend with him and was certainly not holding that death eating look on his face. Instead he was calming leaning again the door frame, smoking a cigarette, with a slight bit of pink painting his cheeks. "May I come in?" he asked in a hushed tone. Roxas only nodded and stepped aside for axel to enter. The red head stood there for a moment taking in the scenes that were Roxas' home. It was run down, empty, and… covered in blood. Axel took a deep breath trying to ignore the reddish brown stains on the floor and walls; he expected the blood to be from Sora not a single thought in his mind registered that it was Roxas' blood, not his brothers. But there was one thing that stood out most to Axel, a small box in the corner of the room by Roxas' bed, "Bingo…" axel mumbled to himself as he sat down on the couch. Roxas nervously tugged at his sleeves and sat down across from Axel. A long silence passed as the two sat awkwardly. Was he going to talk? Or was Roxas going to have to be the one to speak up? "So um…" Roxas attempted but was cut off.

"Why were you with Saix?" Axel asked calmly. Roxas on the other hand about broke down in tears at the very mention of the mutt's name. "H-he needed help with his homework…" the blond managed to croak out. Axel nodded and stood up walking over to the box.

"So how many lines did you do after he raped you?" he asked once again in a calm voice. At this Roxas started to cry. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset him! I'm sorry Axel!" He cried out. Axel somehow managed to not punch the blond and asked again, "How many lines did you do when you got home?" "Lines?" Roxas asked the red head. Axel nodded and picked the lock on the box.

"Oh I see. You smoke." Roxas was beyond confused. "Y-yeah I smoke. You already knew that… didn't you?" axel shook his head, "Smoking isn't very common, and mostly people snort." Roxas shook his head this time. "N-no. I've never snorted." Axel couldn't take his eyes away from the glistening powder. He had promised Demyx and Xigbar he wouldn't get high, but oh, how he wanted to give in. Besides the boys didn't have to know and it's not like Saix cared, apparently sex was better when he was stoned. With that his decision was final. Axel picked up one of Roxas' text books and a piece of paper. Roxas just watched very confused and intrigued with what the other boy was doing. Axel pulled a razor out of his pocket and dumped some of the powder on the text book. "Hey!" Roxas reached for the book but his hand was slapped away. "Chill brat!" Axel fussed, "I know what I'm doing." He used the razor to separate the powder into four rows each about five inches long and a quarter of an inch thick. He then tore the paper in a wide strip and rolled it up into a cigarette shaped cylinder.

"Here" He said handing Roxas that straw shaped paper and made another for him. "Instructions on how to snort coke without totally screwing yourself over: Never do it above always angle and do it quick. The slower the more painful." Roxas nodded and watched as Axel put the straw to his nostril and took a deep breath through the straw taking in an entire line. His body shook for a few moments as the coke quickly went into his system. He bent back over the book and sniffed in another line before dropping the straw and lying back against the couch. "Oh fuck… how I've missed this…" His eyes started to darken matching his hair as his body was started shaking. "Your turn brat," Axel mumbled while staring off into space. Roxas was completely scared. He had never done this before, and certainly would probably not do it again. Especially with Axel, you see, Roxas had a bad habit about telling whoever would listen everything he was feeling when he was high. He didn't want axel to know about his life but he needed a high. Hesitant, he moved the straw to his nose and bent over the powder. _Here goes nothing_ he thought. With one deep intake he snorted up half of a line and immediately dropped the straw. This, this was new. His nose was on fire and he felt like his head was too. The room started to spin and all he could hear was a muffled laugh coming from where axel was sitting. This wasn't like the smoke, where it takes a few to start feeling it; no this was different, and immediate. Roxas wanted more. He bent over and snorted the rest of that line plus half of the last one.

Axel laughed at the blond's expression, it was actually very cute. Wide beady eyes and mouth parted slightly. Amazingly enough his eyes were still clear, impossible! _No, what's impossible is the shade of blue his eyes were_. Axel shook his head to rid those horrible thoughts and leaned over to the blond boy. "So how's the weather brat?" he asked. Roxas smiled and did something very strange. Something he never would have done were he sober. He closed the space between himself and axel and pressed his lips to Axel's exposed neck, "its amazing axel! It's so much better then smoking and cutting. I wonder if I put it in my cuts what would happen." Without thinking he yanked off his hoody revealing his marred skin. Axel's eyes widened in shock. The kid was hiding this?

Like a bucket of cold water he could think again. Before Roxas could sprinkle the magic powder on a freshly opened wound axel grabbed both wrists ignoring the cries of pain coming from Roxas. "Damn it what is wrong with you! Why do you do this to yourself?" Roxas started to cry as he struggled to get away from the red head. "Because it hurts!" "So then why do it, dumbass!" "It hurts!" Axel had had he enough he threw Roxas over his shoulder and walked over to the bed throwing him down and pinned him there. "Listen to me brat, you're not the only one who's had problems and I'm sick of watching you do this shit to yourself!" "Why do you care?" Roxas screamed and flailed. "I'd rather feel a physical pain then one that never goes away!" Axel stopped holding Roxas after he heard what came out of the little boy's mouth. Roxas immediately pulled his wrist free from the now bloody hand that confined it and grabbed Axel's shoulders.

"Is it too much to want a little love? Is it too much to ask for a normal boring life?" the blond wailed and cried into the crook of Axel's neck as the red head just sat there shocked. Seconds turned to minutes and minutes to an hour of Axel holding the crying blond in is arms, before the crying turned to chocked sobs and then eventually stopped. The two started at each other for a minute before Roxas leaned in to press his lips to the corner of Axel's. Finally sobering up the blond looked at axel for a moment. "I'm sorry Axel… I think you should leave…" he mumbled. Axel nodded and stood without a word or second thought. He needed to sober up and think. "Good bye, brat." Axel mumbled as he walked out the door. Roxas stared at the door for a good five minutes before making his way for the bathroom. He would clean up the 'mess' in the morning for now he needed and cold shower and a few new slits.

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><p><strong>Ohhhhh i feel horrible! I said things would get better but now i has new ideas! -evil laugh- it's time to ruin th damn mutts life! Yes, for those of you wonder i absolutly hate Saix... may he wasn't for you but for me he was a bitch to defeat... Also! for those of you wanderingconfused. Roxas lives in an studio apartment. If you don't know it's literally two rooms, a bathroom and a -bedroom-livingroom-kitchen-all-in-one. It's very tiny and sucks... least mine does... I am already working on the next chap so don't worry your little heads off, the wait will soon be over. Reviews means it's faster! And maybe if your good i'll give you a lemon pretty soon, ni? Long story short... Review! and you shall be rewarded. **

**- Sparky**


	5. Goodbye Lamps!

Alright cool…So computer problem fixed and it's been well over a year since I updated. Brilliant… So here's the deal. I love this story but because it's been so long I've lost inspirations and completely forgot where I was going with this. I need you guys to help me out with some suggestions. Review or message me! Otherwise I'm probably gonna just sum it all up and drop it. Help please~

-VIII-

He was taking too long to get home…Saix paced impatiently around the apartment cursing Axel and whatever being was in the sky. It had been a good hour since school was out and axel still wasn't home. No calls no texts no note on the kitchen counter, absolutely nothing and it was getting to the mutt. He glared at the door as if he could set it on fire before it finally swung open to reveal a very much stoned red head.

"Where the hell have you been, Axel?!" yelled Saix

"None o' yo' damn business." the red head grunted.

"And you realize you're not only late but high?"

"Yep..." Axel stumbled a bit as he wandered to the kitchen for a drink. Saix followed quickly behind.

"You will tell me where you have been this instant! Or-"

"Or what?!" he shouted at his 'boyfriend'. Yellow eyes narrowed in on green orbs. "You were with that brat." it wasn't a question. More of a statement, but Axel wasn't in the mood for games. He immediately made for the kitchen for some much needed caffeine. He pulled out a Pepsi took a swig of his drink and wandered past Saix to his own room slamming the door in the mutts face. Saix was pissed.

-XIII-

Roxas on the other hand was beyond confused, and now... lonely. Axel had left his apartment about 20 minutes ago. The same day that Saix had... Roxas shuddered at the memories and he suddenly felt the need to shower again. All too much had happened today, first in the hall, then Axel came over and they got high together. Not only that but Roxas admitted a dark secret to Axel... one he had only ever told Sora. Roxas sighed at his brother's name. It had been about a week since Sora left him, and even though he was in a better place, one where Roxas couldn't follow, he felt the sting of realization. He was alone. Parents long before dead, and now Sora was dead too... He never had any friends. It was just the twins. "I miss you..." he mumbled into the eerie wind.

He made his way to the bathroom after stripping down to his boxers and looked himself over in the mirror. Dark red lines decorated his arms and legs. What did this make now? Twenty eight? More? Another sigh, he turned on the shower and stared at the forgotten razor on the counter. No... Sora would already slap him silly for picking up this dreadful habit again. Pretty soon he wouldn't be surprised if Sora came back just to punch him for being so stupid. The hot water was relaxing but stung Roxas' wounds. He broke again. He fell to the floor of the shower drenched in steam and salty tears, cuts re-opening and now the water was turning pink. What were you to do when you had no one?

-VIII-

(A/n: I realize I'm jumping around a lot. If it's confusing I'm sorry but I got to get this all out)

How dare him! Axel stomped around his room throwing random objects and acting like a five year old deprived of his Halloween candy.

"He has no right! I'm not some pet that he can order around!" there went a lamp. Axel huffed and flopped on his bed complaining about his boyfriend's over-protectiveness. His thoughts suddenly wandered to Roxas. I never knew he was hiding that beneath his shirt. So many cuts...were they all from him? Axel pondered for a moment; did the blond even have any friends?

"Fucking A! Now I'm worried about some pathetic, depressed, emo, brat who's just beggin' for attention!" He lite up a cigarette and stared at the wall, hoping it would spontaneously catch on fire and burn the whole complex down. "Damned bastard..." he mumbled under his breath. Axel sat there for a while just staring at the wall. Cigarette after cigarette and slowly his brand new pack started wearing down to only a third left; he sighed and put it away before the whole thing was gone.

"Roxas..." the way his name rolled off Axel's tongue was addicting. Then he just glared at the wall... now officially bored out of his mind he decided it was time to pay a trip to the park so he pulled out his phone and dialed an old friend, "Hello? Hey! Larx ... No, I mean I'm fine. ... Wanna chill? ... Yeah, the usual... Thanks, babe. I'll be there in an hour. ... Yeah, bye." Axel had a smile on his face after hanging up with his old friend. It had been a while since he found himself sneaking out of his own house, down the street and into a bar, as far away from Saix as physically possible. He arrived at the bar, 7th Heaven; Reno had brought him there once upon a time, before he was killed in his line of work. Axel had despised Rufus ever since. Suddenly the bleached blonde girl he was looking for came running towards him and engulfed him in a large hug.

"AXEL!" she screamed. "Oh, it's been so long since I've heard from you, fire crotch. Where have you been these past months?" Axel smiled at her and happily returned the hug.

"School. I actually stayed unlike someone I know." He grinned and gave his best friend a wink. Said friend just giggled and dragged him away from the bar and into the darkened park across the street.

"Well, I brought the shit you wanted but I know you only ask for this when you're depressed. So spill it." Larxene was surprisingly gentle when talking to Axel. After all bitching would get her nowhere even if she wanted to smack him for the secrets she knew he was keeping. She pulled out a small plastic baggy of weed and an eye drops bottle of LSD then laid them on the park bench. Axel smirked and reached for the drugs but got his hand slapped away pretty damn quick. "Speak!" Larxene demanded. With an exaggerated sigh Axel scratched the back of his head and looked at the ground.

"Larx… Saix stepped over the line." The pyro lite up a cigarette and began to tell Larxene what he had heard and what happened when he went over to comfort Roxas. She just sat there patiently listening to him nodding her head when necessary. By the time he was done she wasn't sure what to say.

"Axel you need to end it. I told you he was bad news from the start!" Axel huffed and threw away the butt to his third cigarette.

"I know! I know… but you and I both know he's not just gonna drop it and move on. To be honest I don't even like him anymore … but I'm scared of what he'll try to pull on me or Roxas." Larxene smiled and put the drugs back in her bag.

"Don't worry 'bout it, babe! Marley and I got you covered! And you have Xigbar and Demyx; he can't hurt you or Roxas." Axel sighed and scratched his head, "Yeah about that. Demyx and I aren't exactly on speaking terms…" The blond gave him a stern 'what the hell' look and he continued.

"We got in a fight over the brat and Saix, I told him to fuck off and he just left. 'Course Xigbar gonna take his side over mine, they're dating for Christ sake!" When Larxene didn't say anything he just stood up and hugged her.

"I'm going home. I gotta fix this, ya know?" She smiled happily and hugged back.

"Go kick his ass!" she grinned and waved her bag around, "I'll save these and call me when you need me, okay? I love you darling!" As she walked off Axel pulled out his phone. First things first he needed to call Demyx.

After about an hour into talking it out with Demyx, Axel finally apologized and won back the musician as a friend. Now was the real problem…Saix. He walked home slowly, planning out what he was going to say to his boyfriend, well soon to be ex… He groaned as he reached his apartment complex.

"Here goes nothing…" As soon as he opened the door he had a second lamp thrown at him. He dodged quickly and the entire argument he had scripted in his head went flying out the window.

"What the hell?!" he shouted at a snarling Saix. Said man picked up the closet thing he found and threw it at Axel as well. With another quick duck Axel picked up a painting that fell and used it for a shield.

"Explain yourself, Axel!" screamed Saix. Axel just looked angry and confused so Saix continued. "How dare you leave me alone in your own god damned house just to see that wretched bitch!" that was the last straw for Axel.

"Get out…" the red head seethed through his teeth. Saix scoffed and threw a random shot glass at Axel who barely blocked it with the painting. Axel then threw said painting at Saix as he continued, "Get out of my house! Get out of my life! I'm done taking your bullshit Saix and I will not put up with having an abusive, rapist boyfriend!" with those last words Saix faced dropped and the ember in his yellow eyes seems to burn into a full blown fire.

"How did you find out?" he asked with venom dripping into every word.

"You're not even going to deny it? You raped an innocent idiot just because I complained about him? What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Their voices were growing louder and more violent to the point Axel wouldn't be surprised if the neighbors called the police.

"You were more interested in that pathetic little brat than you were your own boyfriend!" Saix accused.

"So you raped him?! And just what exactly did that accomplish, huh?!"

"How did you find out?"

"Luxord saw you leaving shortly before Roxas went screaming home! I investigated the corner no one goes to and what do I see, someone's jizz and fucking blood!"

"You have no proof it was me!"

"I didn't until I went to Roxas' house. And just now you never denied it!" Saix snarled at Axel when the red head threw open the door screaming for him to leave.

"I'm not leaving, Axel. You can't get rid of me like that!" Axel regained his composure and pulled out his phone. "Get out of my house. Or you can be personally escorted by the cops." Saix picked up another lamp and threw it at Axel as he stormed out of the apartment. Axel followed him out the door and stood in the hallway watching him leave. When the blue haired man was out of sight he sighed and leaned against the wall finally able to catch his breath. He looked around at the curious people in the hall way and snorted then snapped at the viewers, "What? Never seen two fagots break up before? Get lost." Murmurs emitted from the peanut gallery as they returned indoors to their homes. Axel sighed again and stood up returning into his own room.

"Well that could have gone better…" he mumbled as he picked up the painting and several books. He then proceeded to sweep up all the broken glass and sighed for the ump-tenth time that day. He let a weak smile cross his face as he mumbled, "I guess I still have one good lamp left."

-.-.-.-.-.-

A/n: Well there's my half assed chapter after a good year and 3 months. Once again I need some help! Please~ this chapter was even longer then my other ones just for you! Even though I'm pretty sure that's only because of how caught up I got in throwing shit. ^-^; hope you enjoyed. Also one more thing I started another AkuRoku story that actually follows the game. In fact I replayed the game just to take notes on dialogue and make it as accurate as possible. Check it out and tell me what you think. Later, yo!


	6. Lunch Time

So Much for Forever

Chapter- 6

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><p>It had been two weeks since the incident with Saix and Axel and neither of them had shown up to school since. Rumors were going around that both of them were expelled but Roxas refused to believe that. He had tried to get Demyx and Xigbar to explain but their lips were sealed, what the hell was going on? Over the course of those two weeks Demyx and Xigbar had become increasingly nicer to Roxas, one could even possibly call them friends. Today was no different from any other day, at least not until lunch rolled around. As Roxas was carrying his lunch tray out to the corner table on the cafeteria patio he noticed that only Demyx was there today; and he looked rather upset. The smaller blond put on a soft smiled as he sat down next to the musician.<p>

"Demyx?" he asked quietly and unsuccessfully trying to get the older boys attention. "Hey, Demyx, is everything okay? Where's Xigbar?" Roxas asked again and this time Demyx looked up at him but he wasn't completely there like he was deep in thought. Demyx just sighed and put on his usual smile.

"Hey, Rox. I'm fine… Xigbar is off making sure Axel's okay. We haven't heard from him in a couple days." Roxas frowned and turned his attention to unwrapping his sandwich. He then looked up at Demyx and asked again, "Why won't you tell me what's wrong with Axel?" This time Demyx frowned as well and rested his head in his hand then proceeded to poke at his pudding cup with a spoon.

"It's just not my story to tell, Rox." Demyx sighed again and pushed the pudding cup away before continuing, "He's a hard guy to understand and I don't wanna be the reason why you freak out and start assuming things, ya know?"

"I don't freak out!" Roxas shouted. Demyx just gave his a very un-amused face and Roxas' face flushed a little before he dropped his head and mumbled some apologies. Just then, Xigbar plopped down next to Demyx with a wild grin plastered to his face.

"Well, hey there, sexy. Why the long face? It isn't a very good look on you." The man only grinned wider when he was glomped by his mullet boy.

"Where have you been?" Demyx accused him.

"Axel's."

"For four hours?! You missed the entire first half of school! Well tell me, how is he? Is he okay? Is he still eating? He hasn't gotten high has he? Maybe I should—"

Demyx was quickly and effectively cut off with a harsh kiss from his boyfriend. Roxas rolled his eyes at the two and took a drink from his water bottle; staying quiet in hopes of hearing some news about Axel.

"Xigbar!" Demyx whined after the two pulled apart. "You know I hate it when you do that! Now tell me how Axel is."

"Ask him yourself."

"Xigbar I can't drive. I would probably die trying."

"As if! The lazy bastard's here." Roxas spit out his drink.

"Wha-?!" both blondes exclaimed in unison. Demyx was thrilled that his best friend was still alive and breathing but Roxas looked about ready to faint. Sure he was happy the red head was okay but he beyond terrified about how to approach him and react around him. After all the last time he saw Axel was two weeks ago when they were both completely stoned and Axel had found out about his… Shit. Demyx and Xigbar were talking about Axel now and Roxas heard them say something about him getting lunch then coming over. At this point Roxas figured he had three options:

One; Own up to his mistake and sit down and talk to Axel about it. The boy thought about that only for a moment before crossing that off completely; because quite frankly he didn't want or feel the need to explain himself.

Number two; Ignore the situation entirely and act like it was nothing and he had been sitting at this table with all of them for years. Hmm, possibility.

Option three; Fuck this, pussy out, and book shit away from the table before Axel had a chance to see him and in turn question him. Roxas mulled over the options again. With another moment of consideration he quickly picked up his trash on to his try and grabbed his things. Run like a pussy it is! But before he could stand up he heard Demyx shriek Axel's name and Roxas cursed his lack of movement. He quickly and quietly stood up thinking maybe he still had a chance to get away before getting spotted. But just as he turned to leave all rational and regrettable thoughts alike went flying out of his head when ocean deep eyes locked with acid green.

"Axel…" The named slipped between Roxas' lips before he could stop himself and he winced at his own voice.

"What's _he_ doing here?" the red head asked calmly, his piercing gaze never leaving the boys. "Last I checked he didn't sit with us." Demyx sense the tension and quickly got up to stand in front of Axel cutting off the glare.

"Well actually the last time you both were in school he DID sit at our table." Demyx then added in a much softer voice, "Stop now, Axel, unless you want a repeat." Axel turned his back to both of them and sat down across from Xigbar. Demyx sighed and sat down next to the same man. He then motioned for Roxas to sit down next to himself. Roxas shook his head not trusting his own words. Axel looked up at the boy his eyes softer than before but his voice and words were twice as harsh.

"Hell, the last time I saw you, you were shit faced high. So tell me Rox-as, are you still hiding behind your razor?" Xigbar chocked on his food and Demyx gapped in disbelief. Roxas stood dumb struck for a moment, not sure exactly what to do or say. So he went with option three. His tray hit the concrete with a loud clang and in two minutes flat he was out of sight. Axel smirked at himself with some twisted self-pride before he was suddenly slapped straight across the cheek by a fuming musician who was currently standing over him.

"You bitch!" he spat at Axel. "You should have kept your fucking mouth shut!" the red mark was already starting to show, quickly escalating to match his flaming hair.

"The fuck was that for, Dem?!" the red head shouted back rubbing his sore face.

"For being stupid, now go apologize!" Demyx was ready to hit Axel again but was reduced to whimpering as Axel grabbed his wrist and yanked him down to eye level. Xigbar immediately stood up ready to intervene if necessary. Axel glared at Demyx and responded. "Don't order me around like you own me Demyx.

"No!" Demyx screamed, "If you're going to act like a bitch than I'm going to treat you like one!" Axel raised his fist and Demyx cringed bracing himself for a hit, but Xigbar stepped in catching the punch. The black haired man fought to lower Axel's arm and said, "Don't turn into, Saix." With that Axel dropped both arms releasing Demyx in the process. The blond teen went to cradle his now bruised wrist then looked up at Axel calmly. "Fix this." He sighed and picked up his guitar and book bag.

"I'm still mad at you but right now Roxas is more important, he's my friend too now. And I'm all you've got left Axel, if you want to keep it that way than fix this." With that he took Xigbar's hand and the two left for class, letting Axel alone with his thoughts for a bit. Axel sighed and scratched his neck.

"Well fuck…!" he shouted at nothing as he kicked the table. Look likes he's going back to Roxas' house after school again.

-XIII-

The bus ride home was rather uneventful for Roxas. He sat in the back like usual; ear buds on full blast and his pen scribbling away in his book. Lately he had found new inspiration and his poems and lyrics were starting to fill up his journal. He figured at this rate it would probably be smart to invest in a new note book. When the bus stopped a couple blocks from his apartment he jumped off and headed for the closest corner store for a new set of pages. After a good ten minutes of searching for the proper size and rule he purchased it along with a frozen pizza for dinner that night. On the way home Roxas noticed the snow that started to fall it was wet and heavy and clouds were fluffy and low. The boy sighed because he knew that soon enough it would be blizzarding, so he picked up his pace to a jog and hurried home.

It was almost four by the time Roxas got home and he tiredly kicked his shoes off by the door before dragging his feet into the kitchen. He placed his bag on the counter and pulled out his new book and the pizza, walked over to the oven to set the preheat temperature for the pizza then back to his book. With a smile he wrote his name neatly on the inside of the cover. When the beeper went off, telling him it was hot enough; he set the pizza in the oven and turned on the timer. 'Perfect.' He thought. 'Just enough time for a shower.' So he made his way for the bathroom slowly stripping in the process. When he reached the shower and turned on the water he noticed his reflection in the mirror. The cut were no longer an angry red, but they were nowhere close to being healed. That was when he remembered something he wished he hadn't. The razor was still sitting pretty beside the sink. So he picked it up and rolled it in his hand admiring the dull shine. Axel's irritated voice jumped into his head again.

"_So tell me Rox-as, are you still hiding behind your razor?"_ So what if he was… Roxas sighed and slid the cool metal across his thigh twice and down his arm once. He only admired the blood for a little bit longer before he decided his shower was more important. He stepped into the steamy water but as soon as his hair got wet the doorbell rang. Damn it! Roxas mumbled some curses under his breath as he jumped out and scrambled for is dirty jeans.

"Coming!" he shouted as he ran for the front door. But when Roxas opened it he was not expecting the very reason for the blood running down his wet arm and slowly soaking his jeans, to be standing there on the other side, again.

"Hey—" Axel began, but before he could even get another word in the door was slammed quite loudly in his face.

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><p>An: Alright, see! I'm updating! And it didn't take a year, woot! Hahaha alright well now that we've established I'm still alive. I've figured out how I'm going to go with this. I also got some inspiration from the video I mentioned in the first chapter. Took me a bit to find it again though, anyway, I'm already thinking about how I'm going to end this so it's not going to be dropped. YAY! Happy Holidays, everybody gets cookies and all that bull shit, but only if you review! Because your reviews make me feel fuzzy inside~!

sooooo... LOVE MEH!

Merry Frickin' Christmas, yo!

-Sparky


	7. Beginning's of Axel

**So Much for Forever**

**Chapter- 7**

**-XIII-**

"Hey—" Axel began, but before he could even get another word in the door was slammed quite loudly in his face. Well that could have gone better.

"Nice chat!" he yelled sarcastically.

"Go away, Asshole!" a muffled voice shouted back.

"Actually it's, Axel. A-X-E-L, got it memorized?" Roxas rolled his eyes and kicked the bottom of the door.

"Really? Because every time I see you the first thing to pop into my head is asshole." the redhead grunted and knocked softly on the door again before leaning his ear against it.

"C'mon Rox, I wanna talk to you." he whined.

"I said go away. And don't call me that!" Roxas glared at the door as he heard the knock again.

"Do you prefer brat?" Axel asked.

"Go away!" Roxas shouted for the third time. But Roxas didn't know just how persistent the red head was and he wasn't giving up, not anytime soon.

"Please, Roxas. I really want to talk to you." Axel winced at the amount of pathetic in his voice. He really didn't want to be here, he just didn't; but the thought of losing the only person he could cling to was enough to make him put forth his best acting skills. "Roxas, I've been denying feelings I never thought I'd have for you. That's why I was pushing you away, Roxas. Please open the door." Wait, what? Roxas couldn't believe his ears; did Axel really just say he had feelings for him? Of all people? 'Okay so maybe that was a little to much bull shit…' Axel thought to himself; but with the sound of the door unlocking and the squeak of it opening he figured it worked. As Roxas opened the door to invite Axel in the older teen gasped. Was he blind a few hours ago? Because he just noticed how bad Roxas really looked… Roxas was a mess. The jeans he wore were covered in bits of blood and small rips, the knee was completely blown out and his upper leg must have been torn open from the amount of red liquid gathering there. His skin was sickly pale and his golden hair was more of dishwater blond. His ocean deep eyes held his entire story and were beginning to dull. But what really caught Axels' attention was the quarter size puddle of blood on the floor by Roxas' bare feet. The source of the blood was his arm, now completely drenched in the sticky substance and slowly dripping off his fingers.

"Ro-Roxas…?" Axel took a step back from the now confused boy; but when Roxas looked down he immediately understood and slammed the door once more. This time out of fear. Shit! They both thought. Roxas ran to the kitchen to grab a dish towel. 'I guess it was deeper than I thought.' the boy sighed and continued to run his arm under the warm water. Axel meanwhile was still in shock. Things just became serious; regardless of his feelings he refused to allow some one to be so close to death when he knew he could do something to stop it. He banged his fist against the door and shouted, "Roxas open the door!" A weak 'No.' came from inside but Axel was having none of that.

"Roxas open the fucking door!" he screamed.

"No!" Roxas shouted back.

"I swear to God kid, you don't open this door I'm burning it!" the furious pyro immediately starting searching around the door and under the mat for a spare key. When he found none and Roxas stopped responding Axel panicked. He mustered up some strength and raised his foot, violently knocking down the door. Green eyes scanned the studio and found his target in a matter of seconds. Roxas was on the floor in the kitchen whimpering and clutching his injured arm to his chest. Axel ran over and scooped the boy into his arms. "Shhhh shh shh… It's okay Rox, I'm here." But Roxas stopped moving. Shit.

**-VIII-**

The ambulance pulled up to Roxas' apartment about twenty minutes after the call. Axel was sitting out front with a blacked out blonde in his arms and a tourniquet wrapped tightly around his arm and leg. The paramedics ran up to them quickly taking Roxas from Axel's arms. "Are you family?" The first one asked.

"N-no. I'm not." axel answered.

"What happened?" one of the other paramedics asked Axel. The teen muttered a bit trying to come up with some lie, but his mind was drawing a blank. The man sighed and looked straight into Axel's eyes.

"Sir, I need to know honestly. Was this a suicide attempt?" he asked in a very serious tone. Axel shook his head and sighed.

"I don't know. The cuts were done before I got here."

"I see." the man started to walk off but Axel stopped him and looked genuinely worried at the time. He looked to the ground and scratched his neck.

"What's going to happen to him, now? He asked as Roxas was placed inside the vehicle and the door closed.

"We'll see what the doctor's think." with that the paramedic wrote down the address of the hospital, handed it to Axel, and left. As the ambulance started their sirens and began to pull away it took axel all of five minutes to jump on his Motorcycle and follow right behind the speeding van. The 10 miles they drove to the nearest hospital was agonizing for Axel. He really wished he brought his car instead of the bike to start with; less thinking when driving. However, what was really nagging at the fore front of his head was how this entire thing was his fault. "How could I have been so stupid?" he shouted at himself trying to keep up with the van.

"If I hadn't said anything he wouldn't have cut himself again… we might have actually talked like planned." The ambulance pulled into the emergency lane at the hospital and Axel quickly sped off to the parking lot. But as he was running through the hospital doors a small voice asked him, 'Why are you doing this for the brat who broke up you and Saix?' this made him stop. Why _is_ he doing this?

'Because it's your fault!' his better judgment told him.

"Excuse me sir, can I help you?" Axel looked up at the woman behind the desk who was trying to talk to him. "Huh? Oh! Uh, yeah you can actually. My friend just got brought in but I'm not family so they wouldn't let me go in the ambulance. Do you know what room he's in?"

"Name please?"

"Roxas…uhm…" Axel began but he couldn't finish. What was his last name? Guess he really didn't know Roxas much at all. "I'm sorry." Axel said, "I don't know his last name." The woman began typing some things in the system before she smiled.

"You are lucky your friend has a unique name. Roxas Strife, floor eight room thirteen. But because you're not remedial family I can't let you in." she said with a frown. Axel's face dropped, he wanted to see Roxas. The woman continued, "You can visit him tomorrow during visiting hours though." Axel nodded weakly. "Thanks Miss. Do you mind telling me when those are exactly?" She nodded, "Eleven to six."

"Thank you." Axel mumbled out as he turned and headed out the door. He walked to his bike and rode home his mind only focused on Roxas. By the time he reached his apartment he had actually been reduced to tears he hadn't shed since his brothers' funeral.

"Shit!" he screamed into the empty place. Axel was pissed off at everything. At Roxas, for being so stupid, at Demyx for being a bitch, at Saix for everything, and above all himself. He sighed and looked at the ground his hands clenching and unclenching into fist.

"Damn it… This is entirely my fault." Another few minutes of standing in an open door way he realized he needed to see Roxas, he needed to set things straight. With little time to actually let his actions sink in he was out the door again, down to his car this time and off to the hospital.

Axel walked in through the hospital's sliding doors and there was a new woman at the counter. He smiled at her and sat down in the chairs. She gave him a curious look and got up to walk over to him.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm Aqua, can I help you?" Axel smiled weakly and nodded.

"Yeah, but not right now. Not visiting hours, ya know."

"Who are you here for?" she asked sweetly.

"Roxas Strife."

"Oh! That poor boy." Axel looked up at the blue hair woman and asked, "You know him?" She nodded and frowned at him.

"I had to help restrain him; he wanted to know what happened to an Axel." Said red head looked away and glared at the wall. "Thanks." he told Aqua. "I think I'm just going to stay out here 'til visiting hours start." She frowned again and just walked away. Axel pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Demyx.

_To: Demyx Sender: Axel_

_11:32pm_

_Roxas is in the hospital- I guess_

_things didn't go according to plan…_

_I won't be there tomorrow for school._

He sighed when he realized the time. He had at least another eleven hours until visiting hours began. That's when he began to realize that maybe there was more to this Roxas ordeal than he knew. Those were his last thoughts before he fell asleep.

**-XIII-**

Roxas woke up again to the white room dazed and confused. He groaned and tried to sit up but found his wrist tied to something. "Hello?" he called out to the empty room.

"Ah, you're awake. It's about time." A black haired male with spiky hair walked up to Roxas and scribbled some things down. "How ya feelin' Roxas?" the man asked him.

"I'm restrained…" The dark haired man nodded and pulled a small flash light out of his scrub pocket.

"Before I release you I need to make sure you're not going to do anything stupid." He stared at Roxas for a moment then continued, "Do you want to hurt yourself?" Roxas shook his head.

"Do you want to hurt someone else?" Another 'no' gesture.

"Are you going to try and escape the hospital again?"

"No…" he answered honestly. The nurse smiled and waved the lights across his eyes. When the blue orbs followed he grinned and unlocked the restraints. "Sorry 'bout that; but protocols and all that. My name is Zack Fair and I'm your nurse." Roxas only nodded and laid back down rubbing his sore wrist. Zack smiled and wrote a few things down on the clip board at the end of the bed. The air was tense so he decided to try and lighten the mood a bit.

"That red head of yours is pretty good lookin' guy. Got good hair taste too."

"What?" Roxas asked.

"Oh sorry, thought you guys were dating." Zack scratched his head and looked away. Roxas sat up and looked at him with a curious look. "What red head?" Axel? No, it couldn't be. Roxas shook his head and looked up at Zack waiting for his answer.

"Uh, I don't remember his name. But he's been out in that lobby doing random things to keep him occupied when visiting hours are up."

"You make it sound like it's been a while."

"Uhm, I hate to tell you kid but you've been out for 3 days."

"What?!" the blonde shouted. Zack immediately stepped up. "Hey, hey, calm down Roxas." Zack told him. Roxas sighed and looked at his hands, "For three days?" he asked. Zack nodded. "You want any food? You could use some. And if you want I can send in that red head."

"Oh, uh yes please. And just a salad." Zack nodded and left the room. Roxas sighed and lay back down. Who was the red head? But he got his answer when none other than Axel Lea Flynn walked through the grey door.

"Axel?!" shouted the child. The teen in question winced a bit and started to close the door.

"Sorry, I didn't know you were awake. I'm glad you're okay I'll…uh… I'll just go…"

"Wait! Axel please don't leave…" Roxas looked back down at his hands slightly ashamed at the amount of desperate whines in his voice. Axel simply nodded and sat down in the chair next to his bed same as the past visits. Roxas was the first to break the silence after about twenty minutes.

"The nurse guy told me you've been visiting me." Axel winced a bit and scratched the back of his neck.

"Uh yeah I guess." the red head mumbled out.

"No." Roxas shook his head and looked up at Axel's face. He looked as though he had little to no sleep at all. Then the boy smiled weakly and continued, "He said you've only left once for a shower and food. Even when you couldn't stay you waited in the hall till you could come back in…" Axel groaned and buried his face in his hands.

"Roxas, I-"

"No. Let me continue." the blond cut him off and tried to smile. "Axel I'm sorry if I've ever done anything to make you hate me as much as you do, or I guess did." Roxas sighed and began to fiddle with the blankets. "I don't know what you want from me Axel. I don't know what I did wrong, and even now, I have no idea where we stand. I just…" but his voice faded. He couldn't continue without crying and he refused to be so weak in front of Axel. The older teen was on the verge of tears himself as he looked up at the poor boy nervously playing with his blanket.

"I don't hate you." Axel began, "I never truly did. I just hated that you turned weak when you could have searched for strength. You looked for the easiest way out instead of the best." Roxas winced and bite his lip to distract himself. Axel continued.

"As for where we stand… I don't know. I- uh… Roxas I…"

"Axel?" Said man sighed and looked up, straight into the blonds' eyes.

"Roxas, I've had a while to think. Especially with little more to do in a hospital. And… well Roxas I think I-"

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><p><strong>AN: Muhahahahahahahahahaha! Another chapter up! Having no life kinda helps with this. Anyway I've seen a lot of people thank their reviewers through an a/n so I'm going to start that with my fics. **

**mysexyzexy14: Well thank you! ^.^ I like your screen name, it makes me giggle.**

**Raiden Amour: Fuck yes! You have no idea how awesome it is to know someone's geeking over your work.**

**Xaphrielle: Your comment actually made me laugh. I've always seen Axel as that obnoxious flirty idiot who think he's just the shit. But his douche-iness is why I love him. Hope you liked this chapter he's not **_**such**_** a tool.**

**The crows eyes: Cool, yo! A new follower. That makes my day. ****J -hands cookie-**

**punkichan9- 11: Glad you like it! I'm having fun writing it so I like it too!**

**Thanks again guys! The reviews make me feel so special! -sniffles- Next chapter is going to be pretty long and is when shit really goes down. So it's probably going to be a couple weeks before it's up…sorry. BUT I WON'T FORGET YOU! I promise!**


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